Tuesday, November 13, 2012
well , I am still living here with my man , and this last year has been pretty good, he makes sure or trys his best to make me feel at home,. I STILL want to have a foster family, and ofcorse adopt a teen girl, and a newborn girl // but for now, thats in my future hopefully .. I am STRESSIN NOW cuz MY FIRST BORN SON IS GETTING MARRIED SUNDAY THE 18TH !!!!!!!!! I dont want him to marry yet , but I will not turn my back on him ethier, so a marriage is where I will be on sunday ...... I PRAY all goes smoothly, that My X father in law doesent oull out his camrea, cuz I Will Want to break his camrea... BECAUSE he NEVER gives me copies ofpix he takes, and so therefore I CANT get the pix in thier albom, much less MINE> !!!!! I am stressin so bad and cant see hoe its going to be any better until its all said and done with ... So I made my first diaper cake today , I will start posting tuterials soon on all these craft ideas I have found and alot i have done ., som wedding , and some baby, and then bridal shower, and baby shower : ) WILL catch up with all that soon ... trying to figure out which way I wanna go with this blog ethier my life, and venting or DIY and decorating OR BOTH : ) because this IS my life. lol I will decide and go one way or the other, or both , as is with DIY's missing at the moment , but I wIll make it Work ~!! BE BACK SOON !!!!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
PTLS
I just read this, and OMG it has ALL my symptoms, and explains ALOT !!! I need a reversal, not only will I be able to get preggo and hopefully have a baby girl, I WILL loose ALOT of pain, and I have ALOT of these symptoms, I mean alot . So I need this . I will have to save money , I dont have the 8,000 I will need for the gas, the surgery, and teh recovery and driving home .. I found a dr levine, he seems t be the best , and the actual surgery is a flat fee of 6,200, which will probally be 7,200 for me IF they make \me stay inpatient because of other health issues. I hope not . the thought of having my own baby girl is awesome but what far outweighs that is ALL these problems that should go away !!!!!
here they are ...... *( I was amazed that all of these are apart of post tubal litigation ) as I said I cant get mine undone soon enough ................................................................................................................
post tubal ligation syndrome
1. Ectopic pregnancy or pregnancy (well known risk of tubals)
1a. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling, chills
2. Bouts of rapid heart beat
3. Irritability
4. Mood swings, sudden tears
5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
6. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
7. Loss of libido
8. Dry vagina
8a. Itchy vagina-at times raw like, can radiate from whole area, with absence of yeast infections.
8b. Color change in vaginal area. (color gets darker - purple/black)
9. Crashing fatigue
10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
13. Disturbing memory lapses
14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence
14a.Prolapse of uterus due to rapid decreases in estrogen levels.
15. Itchy, crawly skin
16 Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
17. Increased tension in muscles
18. Breast tenderness
18a. Decrease in breast mass
19. Headache change: increase or decrease
20. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
21. Sudden bouts of bloat
22. Depression
23. Exacerbation of existing conditions
24. Increase in allergies
25. Weight gain
26. Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
28. Changes in body odor
29. Electric “shock” or “stabbing” sensation under the skin.
30. Tingling in the extremities
31. Gum problems, increased bleeding
32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
33. Osteoporosis (after several years)
34. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier.
Its insane to me that this is a doctor produced sickness, and causes all this !! NO wonder they ask you a bunch if your sure' you think they mean you dont want anymore kids, NO< its do you want ALL these side effects !!!! WHY cant they warn us about these >>??????
here they are ...... *( I was amazed that all of these are apart of post tubal litigation ) as I said I cant get mine undone soon enough ................................................................................................................
post tubal ligation syndrome
1. Ectopic pregnancy or pregnancy (well known risk of tubals)
1a. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling, chills
2. Bouts of rapid heart beat
3. Irritability
4. Mood swings, sudden tears
5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
6. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
7. Loss of libido
8. Dry vagina
8a. Itchy vagina-at times raw like, can radiate from whole area, with absence of yeast infections.
8b. Color change in vaginal area. (color gets darker - purple/black)
9. Crashing fatigue
10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
13. Disturbing memory lapses
14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence
14a.Prolapse of uterus due to rapid decreases in estrogen levels.
15. Itchy, crawly skin
16 Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
17. Increased tension in muscles
18. Breast tenderness
18a. Decrease in breast mass
19. Headache change: increase or decrease
20. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
21. Sudden bouts of bloat
22. Depression
23. Exacerbation of existing conditions
24. Increase in allergies
25. Weight gain
26. Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
28. Changes in body odor
29. Electric “shock” or “stabbing” sensation under the skin.
30. Tingling in the extremities
31. Gum problems, increased bleeding
32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
33. Osteoporosis (after several years)
34. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier.
Its insane to me that this is a doctor produced sickness, and causes all this !! NO wonder they ask you a bunch if your sure' you think they mean you dont want anymore kids, NO< its do you want ALL these side effects !!!! WHY cant they warn us about these >>??????
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Starting Over Again ........
I feel ... hell all I do is FEEL , I have a heart that is WAY too big for this world and the people in my life.
seems like ALL I ever do .... IS FEEL . I hate it . I wish I could be cold, or atleast not care as much as I do . I cant understand why everyone else doesent Have the care or see what I see, sometimes I think i am not meant to be here, and I dont matter. depression, and Alone. I am so sick of having to FEEL. that is why I have been a addict for so many years... To Not have to Feel, or Deal. I just say fuck it , and dont deal with what is right here ready to be dealt with and finished. I cant seem to shut the care off, and even when I was high, It was still a burning hole that I could never get high enough to not feel . I am disapointed in myself, even now, sober, single, indapendent, I should be happy for myself, thier were years I Never thought I could be on my own, much less EVER live alone. I now have been alone in my own apt 6 years now. I SO want to be married, and in love, and share my life with my soulmate . I am in love with a man, I am dreaming he is the one, and woishing for our future, he now is saying he wants to live with me, move away from here, and start a life together. I SO want that . and then I am afraid, i am afraid he will lie again, cheat again, then I loose, I loose everything I have worked for within myself the last 6 years,. I have alot of material things, most are just that material items, that I dont really care' about, then thiers the what if' , I think thier is Always a Ending .. He has a mom, and a back door to run threw if things go wrong, I dont. I am all on my own . I am scared to death and I have to put my heart and faith in someone I do trust and love, but also someone that has hurt me deeply and more than anyone ever has .......... Then thier are my boys, I love them with ALL my heart they are my life. But I cant seem to be the mother I want to be. I have a shitty past, A bad childhood, But that gives me NO right to not be all that I can be as a mom to my sons. I cant wait to be a grandmother, I want the innocence of a baby in my life, I love caring for a newborn, Its so innocent and sweet and makes me happy to know I can feed it , clean it , and love it , then watch as it sleeps happy , healthy, and in a good home. WHY cant I get that from my teenage boys, I love them, I love caring for them, but then they are so grown, and indapendent , its so hard to know thier not my babys' anymore, even thow in my heart they always will be. enough for now, I will revise and edit this .......Later.
seems like ALL I ever do .... IS FEEL . I hate it . I wish I could be cold, or atleast not care as much as I do . I cant understand why everyone else doesent Have the care or see what I see, sometimes I think i am not meant to be here, and I dont matter. depression, and Alone. I am so sick of having to FEEL. that is why I have been a addict for so many years... To Not have to Feel, or Deal. I just say fuck it , and dont deal with what is right here ready to be dealt with and finished. I cant seem to shut the care off, and even when I was high, It was still a burning hole that I could never get high enough to not feel . I am disapointed in myself, even now, sober, single, indapendent, I should be happy for myself, thier were years I Never thought I could be on my own, much less EVER live alone. I now have been alone in my own apt 6 years now. I SO want to be married, and in love, and share my life with my soulmate . I am in love with a man, I am dreaming he is the one, and woishing for our future, he now is saying he wants to live with me, move away from here, and start a life together. I SO want that . and then I am afraid, i am afraid he will lie again, cheat again, then I loose, I loose everything I have worked for within myself the last 6 years,. I have alot of material things, most are just that material items, that I dont really care' about, then thiers the what if' , I think thier is Always a Ending .. He has a mom, and a back door to run threw if things go wrong, I dont. I am all on my own . I am scared to death and I have to put my heart and faith in someone I do trust and love, but also someone that has hurt me deeply and more than anyone ever has .......... Then thier are my boys, I love them with ALL my heart they are my life. But I cant seem to be the mother I want to be. I have a shitty past, A bad childhood, But that gives me NO right to not be all that I can be as a mom to my sons. I cant wait to be a grandmother, I want the innocence of a baby in my life, I love caring for a newborn, Its so innocent and sweet and makes me happy to know I can feed it , clean it , and love it , then watch as it sleeps happy , healthy, and in a good home. WHY cant I get that from my teenage boys, I love them, I love caring for them, but then they are so grown, and indapendent , its so hard to know thier not my babys' anymore, even thow in my heart they always will be. enough for now, I will revise and edit this .......Later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)